We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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