He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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