I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
