you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
