i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
