can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm at about main and main street
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
