you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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