i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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