Do vagina's smell?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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