I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
