he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
