A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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