Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
