my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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