I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
