Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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