She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
