1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
