I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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