my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
