I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
