All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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