How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i came on her dog
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
