I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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