yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize