guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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