I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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