i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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