Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
