some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
