omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
