I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize