My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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