were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
