College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
