I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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