i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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