They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dick very happy bro
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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