my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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