Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
