Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
