the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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