I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
