I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
