I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
