Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She bit a glass in half.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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