Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
