I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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