I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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