We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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