You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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