just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
