On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
