i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
