no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
