It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
