What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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