she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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