is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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