why do cheetos always look like penises
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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