Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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